I'm so tired of living. Sometimes I wish I was dead.Sometimes I wish I wasn't being born in this life. It's excruciating. It's so painful that I wet my pillows every night. It's tiring. It's pulling me towards salvation. I'm sick and tired of it. I’m sick and tired of it! I do my best all the time. I do what I have to do. No matter how it makes me cries and throb inside. I feel like no one cares. No one sees the effort. I do it and do it and do it until I’m sweating and sobbing and shaking. I get so filled with fury and hate that I can’t see. Everything starts to spin. I twitch and grope at the rope that will drag me to salvation but every inch closer I crawl, someone pulls it farther away, laughing at my tears, my sweat, my blood. It makes me sick. It’s not worth it. I find relief from it. I get up off my knees, brush of my clothes, the blood of my face and then I go away. I leave your laughter, your joy. All the fighting and trying is pointless. It’s like trying to walk trough a wall. And your bony pointless hatred still pokes me no matter where I run to get away from it. I can’t run, no matter how fast my legs move. Can’t hide no matter how dirty I’m willing to get. It’s all a game to you, a trick to see how far down the line you can push me I’m over the line now. What is a game to you now is my life.
