moi masterpiece

How sweet are these? *wink* i love all the picture in here. It brings back memories. Memories with him. All the sweetest that I could remember. All the juiciest dreams I could ever imagine. He's here with me now. Thru ups and down in my life -there were almost downs in my life. I always have freak-outs. I never thought that somebody will cope it with me. Understanding. He could be my mum if he's a girl -I mean a woman :). Gosh! I couldn't say what he has done to me. But just imagine, he sacrifices all he's got to me, ungrateful me. All of it. Hey dude, thanx. For u are my love and my life. You ARE my rockstar.

It's tiring

I'm so tired of living. Sometimes I wish I was dead.Sometimes I wish I wasn't being born in this life. It's excruciating. It's so painful that I wet my pillows every night. It's tiring. It's pulling me towards salvation. I'm sick and tired of it. I’m sick and tired of it! I do my best all the time. I do what I have to do. No matter how it makes me cries and throb inside. I feel like no one cares. No one sees the effort. I do it and do it and do it until I’m sweating and sobbing and shaking. I get so filled with fury and hate that I can’t see. Everything starts to spin. I twitch and grope at the rope that will drag me to salvation but every inch closer I crawl, someone pulls it farther away, laughing at my tears, my sweat, my blood. It makes me sick. It’s not worth it. I find relief from it. I get up off my knees, brush of my clothes, the blood of my face and then I go away. I leave your laughter, your joy. All the fighting and trying is pointless. It’s like trying to walk trough a wall. And your bony pointless hatred still pokes me no matter where I run to get away from it. I can’t run, no matter how fast my legs move. Can’t hide no matter how dirty I’m willing to get. It’s all a game to you, a trick to see how far down the line you can push me I’m over the line now. What is a game to you now is my life.

The love of my life!

I never thought that I could fall in love to anybody in this world.Hah ha, big talk from a small me - tall 2 be exact. The first time I saw him, I fall for him. Big one. But he kinda resisted. I don't know how to say it, but I nearly gave up on him because it was really hard to like somebody that doesn't love me back. Yikes! I sounded like a love novel writer, haha! hmm.. by the way, now I got him, I mean me n him were together now. hah ha, I never thought it would end up this way. I'm so madly in love with him right now, and I bet he IS, too. He's everything to me. He understands me, and all of the listed criterias of your dream boyfriends *wink*, although his jealousy is killing me. But that shows how much he loves me right?