I'm so tired of living. Sometimes I wish I was dead.Sometimes I wish I wasn't being born in this life. It's excruciating. It's so painful that I wet my pillows every night. It's tiring. It's pulling me towards salvation. I'm sick and tired of it. I’m sick and tired of it! I do my best all the time. I do what I have to do. No matter how it makes me cries and throb inside. I feel like no one cares. No one sees the effort. I do it and do it and do it until I’m sweating and sobbing and shaking. I get so filled with fury and hate that I can’t see. Everything starts to spin. I twitch and grope at the rope that will drag me to salvation but every inch closer I crawl, someone pulls it farther away, laughing at my tears, my sweat, my blood. It makes me sick. It’s not worth it. I find relief from it. I get up off my knees, brush of my clothes, the blood of my face and then I go away. I leave your laughter, your joy. All the fighting and trying is pointless. It’s like trying to walk trough a wall. And your bony pointless hatred still pokes me no matter where I run to get away from it. I can’t run, no matter how fast my legs move. Can’t hide no matter how dirty I’m willing to get. It’s all a game to you, a trick to see how far down the line you can push me I’m over the line now. What is a game to you now is my life.
1 comment:
i love you. i dont know if your a man, woman or a child, as a matter of fact i don't know who you are at all but i love you just the same. To know that you're out there in cyberspace somewhere and you feel this way makes me very sad. Thats how i know that i love you. I'm very anti-social. I don't like meeting new people because i know eventually i'll learn about their problems and it will make me feel like i do now; sad because of their problems and helpless because there nothing i can do. So basically you suck for making me feel this way, but i still love you. (Don't be offended, i was only joking about you sucking.)
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