regret

sheeshh.. I'm turning into a BIATCH.. ah, i da merepek banyak sgt.enjoy konon. pegi mampos la lamb. over sangat dah. shittt man.. i've totally fucked up this time. at 1st I did things i wanted to do as a revenge of my past experience before. but i did it wrongly man.. damn wrong. damn sick! I'm like, in a whirpool of betrayal right now. trying to pull myself out before i got sucked up too deep and get tangled up in my own wrong way of enjoying myself. damn, it feels like putting urself in a blender and all my senses; my brain.my heart; is liquified to every bit you have. great.. lemme see, i got a fucking bestfriend (girl) that really2 loves me. tapi beb, aku silang die. tapi die buat tak kesah. sebab die sayang aku. does that sounds crazy to you? i did something bad beb. but she don't give a damn! now i realize guys doesn't mean anything to me. friends do! guys.guys.guys. they don't give a fuck to whom they hurt. but, before this i've got back stabbed by my girlfriends. bff. u know what i mean. and now i got another one GIRL friend that really2 trust me and i don't know what to do about it. urghhh, it feels like clawing to ur own skin. the pain is so tremendous it bites you until you're soulless. I AM a soulless fuck compared to her. I didn't thought about her feeling even for one minute before I did the mistake. and yet, she's the one who helped me out from the catastrophy. damn! damn! damn! i miss her so bad here. she's not here for the time being. she gave me strength when i was like the pathetic girl on the earth. jage i mase i saket. and she doesn't even care about herself as long she can see that I'm OK. Godamnit! guys! help me!